You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
