...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
