I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
