he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
someone owes me an orgasm
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
