I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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