He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
