Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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