wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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