all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I will be naked everywhere
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
