Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
