oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
be right there i have to get my cape
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
