bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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