It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
