we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
