my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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