"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
