is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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