i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
