How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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