he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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