When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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