that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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