im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
