He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
