Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
