I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
