trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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