Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
