I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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