Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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