By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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