He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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