READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
