i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
