haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
