I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
