Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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