He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
