when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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