what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
