i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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