Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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