you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
