all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
