I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
