Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
