i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm at about main and main street
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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