Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
