Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
