That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
