I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
